Withing the first 24 hours of becoming Aimée’s mother the neuroses began. That first evening, while I was marvelling over her tiny pink toes, her wrinkled feet and her little legs, I noticed a tiny scar of about ¼ inch on each knee. I recognised the scars right away, because I had the exact same scar on my shoulder from a laparoscopic scope done years ago. I was puzzled and to be honest, I was panicked. What was wrong with her knees? Why did she need a scope done on her knees at such a young age? Why didn’t the orphanage tell me about her knees? What might they be hiding? Do her knees hurt her? And so on and so forth. I shared my concerns with the other two families I was traveling with first thing that next morning at breakfast. They quickly pointed out to me that they were not scars but two adorable little dimples. If I had looked more closely at her elbows, I would have seen dimples there too. What the heck was I thinking? What orphan from a developing country has scopes done on her knees?
Over the last 8 months, I have had to make a mental effort to keep my worries in check. Nobody ever told me how hard that would be as a mother. I knew when I adopted Aimée that she may possibly experience some short-term delays. Even though my brain knows all this, I sometimes work myself up into a frenzy worrying about Aimée and her development. It is so hard to find the right balance between letting Aimée set the pace and me being pushy and doing everything I can so she will move on. One day we spent a long time (only God knows how long) on me trying to get her to distinguish between her cow and her horsey. "Show me the horse... No that's your cow. Aimée... Aimée.... Where's the horse? The horse... Over here... Look, here! Not the cow, the horse.... The horse.. THE HORSE!!!!" I just have to chill! I know.
1 comment:
She will get there when she is ready. Enjoy ever minutes because before you know it she will be all grown up and not needing you any more.
Big hugs for both of you.
Bev.
Post a Comment